yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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