Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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