it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
