69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
