I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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