why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
When did angry sex become our thing?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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