Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
