Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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