so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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