if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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