I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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