In the future we'll all be gay
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
