It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
