If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
