i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
