My sheets look like a crime scene.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
