I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
