I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?