Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
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With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake