Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...

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  (402): Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important... http://tfl.nu/xkl9
  Replies (16) Good night (1037) Bad night (1871)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.

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  (704): I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing. http://tfl.nu/dymp
  Replies (56) Good night (7964) Bad night (1352)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?

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  (402): Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy? http://tfl.nu/i95d
  Replies (276) Good night (4242) Bad night (27069)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.

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  (304): You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me. http://tfl.nu/fshf
  Replies (24) Good night (9080) Bad night (2238)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.

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  (207): Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers. http://tfl.nu/gf42
  Replies (8) Good night (3695) Bad night (919)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.

  (254): View more from Texas

  He's majoring in Religion

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  (254): I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka. (254): He's majoring in Religion http://tfl.nu/gx54
  Replies (9) Good night (2493) Bad night (636)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

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  (678): Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min. http://tfl.nu/nnq2
  Replies (18) Good night (616) Bad night (1820)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left

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  (208): I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left http://tfl.nu/jhm7
  Replies (4) Good night (1055) Bad night (450)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends

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  (908): Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends http://tfl.nu/ooil
  Replies (3) Good night (619) Bad night (436)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real

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  (785): My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real http://tfl.nu/x4mj
  Replies (3) Good night (2222) Bad night (388)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.

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  (843): If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala. http://tfl.nu/anbg
  Replies (0) Good night (729) Bad night (232)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.

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  (307): I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless. http://tfl.nu/qeom
  Replies (1) Good night (567) Bad night (288)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck

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  (770): Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck http://tfl.nu/dtrp
  Replies (4) Good night (428) Bad night (237)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Did you feel uncomfortable?

  (1-601): View more from Mississippi

  For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.

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  (601): Did you feel uncomfortable? (1-601): For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch. http://tfl.nu/qfar
  Replies (0) Good night (480) Bad night (209)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not

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  (406): Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not http://tfl.nu/qjke
  Replies (5) Good night (482) Bad night (230)

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