I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
