He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
