I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
false alarm, still single
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