yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
