I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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