Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
The ass gains better be worth it
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