I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
This is my gift to your gina
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
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