I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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