No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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