A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I am spending my child support on dildos
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
