worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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