did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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