What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
