Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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