im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
