True but thats because hes a fetus.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Randomize
