I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
