Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
