you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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