Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize