fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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