Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
