We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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