I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
