It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
