ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize