After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
