WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We need a shit load of segways right now
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
