i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Randomize
