i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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