GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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