Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
