Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Randomize
