Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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