I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
