Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
