Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
