we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
