DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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