So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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