its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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