About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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