my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
