So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just found puke in my bra..
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
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