you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
