everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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